“Better Call Rudy” Buffoonery Continues — While the FBI Closes In?


The Six Flags level “Free Fall” from grace for the man formerly known as “America’s Mayor” has been spectacular. Rudy Giuliani has been embarrassing himself so badly that getting pranked by Borat is almost an afterthought.  Opinions range on what’s behind Giuliani’s behavior – garden variety crazy, wet brain, dementia, fear of prison, election fraud – but there’s general consensus that Rudy’s reduced himself to a punchline, a laughingstock, really.

Amid many enjoying the Rudy-comic-relief, and others deeply concerned about his bizarre, anti-democratic conduct and his client, President Donald J. Trump’s, juvenile refusal to concede the election, the  Palmer Report  — in a piece titled “FBI reportedly  targeting Rudy Giuliani” — dropped news late last night: “[T]he FBI is now reportedly zeroing on Rudy Giuliani, even going so far as to question witnesses about his antics involving Ukraine and Russia.”

With the walls potentially closing in, the Giuliani led election challenges have seen around 1 minor victory against around 35 defeats.  For those old enough to remember, this is a record that may even make Glass Joe in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out cringe.  A particular exchange from the Pennsylvania proceeding, reported in the Washington Post, is startling…

Judge Matthew Brann:  “What standard of review should I apply?”

Rudy Giuliani:  “The normal one?”

The judge was looking for “rational-basis,” “intermediate scrutiny” or “strict scrutiny,” basic concepts learned by every first-year law school student in the United States.  Rudy did not stop there, however, in a classic example of “better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt;” Giuliani doubled-down and stated:  “Maybe I don’t know what you mean by strict scrutiny.”

The level of incompetence is staggering; Rick Hasen, a law professor at the University of California, Irvine, remarked:  “I’ve never seen an election lawyer handle a case as poorly as Giuliani has. The idea that the lawyer arguing the most important case in Pennsylvania would not understand what it means to apply the standard of strict scrutiny in a constitutional case is mind-boggling.”

From the Nevada Attorney General referring to a filing as “garbage,” to the Four Seasons International press conference between a sex-shop and a crematorium, to the grotesque-looking brown beads of hair dye dripping down Giuliani’s profusely perspiring face at yesterday’s press conference, Rudy has disgraced himself at an almost unfathomable level. Perhaps concerned about permanent reputational harm, lawyers and law firms have actively exited the Giuliani fueled legal circus.  Rudy is  Donald J. Trump’s last legal stand, a lawyer-client relationship that has been a net negative for Rudy.

Giuliani and seeming last bastions of legal hope have not worked out well.  Rudy hired Pierce Bainbridge Beck Price & Hecht LLP for Ukraine after established firms stayed away. The firm tanked, boss John Pierce went on to represent Kyle Rittenhouse, questions have arisen about a potential fundraising scam, with players such as Bernie Kerik, Roger Stone, and George Papadopoulos – all with felonious activity in their pasts –surrounding related fundraising efforts. Pierce, who is immersed in problems, brazenly called for the ousters of the Directors of the CIA and FBI earlier this week.  Pierce’s ex-partner, David L. Hecht of Hecht Partners LLP, recently had ex-clients testify that he deceived them into hiring his firm in the Boeing 737 Max litigation; which apparently included Hecht acting like he was a partner at a firm with which he has no affiliation. (Excerpts from the testimony are incredible.)

This concept of impersonation dovetails with Rudy’s legal efforts on behalf of the President. Giuliani, who had not lawyered in front of a federal court since the early 1990’s, seems to be playing the role of lawyer, and he is playing it badly.

A quick look on the Twittersphere confirms that Giuliani has become a running joke.

  • “Giuliani is in bad shape. I hope he has some family members who can stage an intervention or marry him.” @TheDweck
  • “holy f*#king shit, the president’s lawyer is a manic bug-eyed gin-soaked sweat-coated spittle-flecked butt-dialing glory-chasing nonsense-spouting conspiracy-spewing trouser-adjusting cable-news-addicted bouncing-off-the-walls delusional gibbering lunatic hot f*#king mess” @itsJeffTiedrich
  • After tweeting that “2020 has made the Onion’s job impossible.” @UROCKLive1 included a link to an article in The Onion titled: “‘Your Honor, I’m Ready to Present,’ Says Giuliani Pulling Rotted Melon, Stray Cat Out Of Old Burlap Sack”

The “Better Call Rudy” buffoonery show continues, Man-Baby Donald Trump refuses to accept defeat, and, meanwhile, the Federal Bureau of Investigation is reportedly increasing the heat on the already melting Rudolph Giuliani.

Don Lewis
@DonLew87 on Twitter

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4 Comments on "“Better Call Rudy” Buffoonery Continues — While the FBI Closes In?"

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Facts Hurt
Facts Hurt

He’s gonna be responsible for sea level rise as well if he keeps sweating like that.

Alfred Higgins
Alfred Higgins

Don’t hold back @itsJeffTiedrich!


I want to talk to Epstein’s girlfriend


Poor rudy, hero (9/11) to zero now.